and they lived happily ever after…

That’s what we’re told isn’t it?

So no wonder we feel like a failure when you are in the trenches of your relationship, wondering how the fuck you will ever be ok again.

We have been there more times than I would like to admit in the last couple of years.

We have achieved so much both with our home, work lives and personally and I kept thinking ‘once this happens things will get better’ or ‘when this is done things will get better’.

Turns out the only thing that could get us better is us.

As someone who chooses to share quite a lot of my life on the Internet, I don’t share my relationship. There are some things that absolutely should be kept to yourself, plus my relationship is made up of two people and I can’t imagine how much harder it would be to navigate the shit times if you were sharing them for the world to see, so I don’t, but it doesn’t mean we haven’t or don’t have them.

The last year has been so so tough for us, without going into detail, demons are being fought that have tested our relationship from the start, I feel like our whole lives have changed… certainly for the better but it also feels like unfamiliar ground and we have had to get some help to find our feet again, which I’m not embarrassed by.

I spoke to Kieran about how much easier it would have been to just give up, that’s what I used to feel like… that it would be easier to just stop trying. But now we are in a better place I am so glad we have worked at it.

And that’s the thing, we are so conditioned to think you meet the love of your life and then it’s all happiness and love and life is amazing but it’s not, it can be shit and you have to work at it, every single day… which is bloody hard when you have a million other things to do.

Making time for each other is always at the bottom of the pile of stuff to do, which is madness because we are the foundation of everything we have, so if we are not ok then nothing is ok… but like I said we are working on it and getting better at prioritising us.

I will leave it at that, I just wanted to share this because there have been many occasions that I have been scrolling and felt like a stab in my belly when I’ve seen another happy couple… we all have our shit, but it’s our shit to deal with.

And also this picture which I was sent by a very good friend and it made me have a little cry because it’s so true.

L x